View Full Version : Hunt's Laws of Mongering
In this thread I shall announce the authentic pronouncement of Hunt's Laws of Mongering, beginning with the first and most important one:
Hunt's Law Number One: The cock you please must be your own.
Commentary: You are mongering for your own pleasure. The point is that you visit such boliches, drill such chicas, and pay such prices as you deem pleasurable. You certainly are not mongering for the benefit of anybody else.
I encourage any and all posters to suggest further Hunt's Laws.
I wish I could claim these laws as Toymann originals but I have found these two laws to be self evident!
1) If the Chica is unhappy you will not improve her mood by sticking your dick in her!
2) If they can't Dance, they can't fuck either!
Don't touch it!I cannot agree with you more Sidney. So many times if they are not.
Into it from the very get go. It is a usually a disaster. There are so many sluts.
In arg. why waste your time with someone with a bad attitude.
This is something I have learned the hard way.
For now, I announce:
Hunt's Law Number Two: Don't monger while drunk.
Commentary: One would think this to be self-evident, but while one drink may be permissible to loosen up an uptight monger, and perhaps two are sufficient to get a pleasant buzz, four or five or ten are definitely too many. Contrary to popular belief, you are not more charming or desirable to women when your liver is marinated in Beefeater Gin. Your ability to successfully negotiate a reasonable price for sex is diminished by an exponential amount with each additional drink you consume. The more you drink, the more you are apt to fall victim to "Sidney Syndrome," when an otherwise intelligent monger insists on screwing incredibly ugly chicas, and then boasting the next day about how beautiful they were (all the while nursing a hangover). Finally, there is the dreaded risk of "whisky dick," in which a normal, red-blooded monger has an inability to achieve an erection. It is reported that this malady is also observed in men who have been married for more than seven years.
Tungurahua
05-02-07, 21:03
Hunt's Law Number Two: Don't monger while drunk.This is what I miss so much in BA (compared to Quito) -- that I cannot monger in cheap nightclubs to drink incredible proportions of $1-2 beers and fuck eighteens at fixed-club-prices of 650 to 800 pennies a spread. While the odd case of whiskey-dick worked against me, most of the time it works for me, making me super-horny all the live-long-day. So in my books Hunt's Law Number Two is not a negative but a positive. ;-) I have yet to come up with a successful re-mix of catalysts to take me to savage, drooling super-inspired heights here.
Hmm, to personalize it I would write: don't monger after drinking more than 15 (small, 330ml) beers; 20 and you are done for.
Law Number One is solid.
** contemplating a good contribution **
Hunt's Law Number Two: Don't monger while drunk.
"Commentary: One would think this to be self-evident, but while one drink may be permissible to loosen up an uptight monger, and perhaps two are sufficient to get a pleasant buzz, four or five or ten are definitely too many. Contrary to popular belief, you are not more charming or desirable to women when your liver is marinated in Beefeater Gin. Your ability to successfully negotiate a reasonable price for sex is diminished by an exponential amount with each additional drink you consume."
I have seen Exon become even more loose after 3 or 4 of his Beefeaters. Does this mean his hand looks better and better as the Beefeaters flows? LOL.
Coach
I wish I could claim these laws as Toymann originals but I have found these two laws to be self evident!
1) If the Chica is unhappy you will not improve her mood by sticking your dick in her!
2) If they can't Dance, they can't fuck either!1) Good point. We shall have to incorporate something along this line into a Hunt's Law.
2) I can't dance (in fact I have Terminal White Man's Disease) and I can fuck. I've seen the same thing amongst chicas. Too imprecise to be a Hunt's Law, which must be universal in application.
Don't throw more money at a malo situation. It will not get better!Is this a proposed law of mongering or of stock market investing?:D
Punter 127
05-03-07, 12:50
How about this Hunt; forget everything you ever learned about dating. Mongering is a business deal not a romance. She is selling and you are buying, apply good business principles when dealing with chicas.
Hunt's Law Number Two: Don't monger while drunk.
"Commentary: One would think this to be self-evident, but while one drink may be permissible to loosen up an uptight monger, and perhaps two are sufficient to get a pleasant buzz, four or five or ten are definitely too many. Contrary to popular belief, you are not more charming or desirable to women when your liver is marinated in Beefeater Gin. Your ability to successfully negotiate a reasonable price for sex is diminished by an exponential amount with each additional drink you consume."
I have seen Exon become even more loose after 3 or 4 of his Beefeaters. Does this mean his hand looks better and better as the Beefeaters flows? LOL.
CoachI do most of my Mongering durning the day and drink the Beefeaters before dinner, usually limiting my self to two or three doubles, there are exceptions. This way I'm sober when I Fuck and my Vigara works. I normally use the evening's for recon, scouting out new prospects.
There are many reasons for this behavior. I fuck better durning the day. Its cheaper durning the day. Its good "Sperm Management" since I don't ask my "Dick" to do something that can't be done.
Exon
A basic rule of mongering that has served me very well over many years throughout the world that I learned in the Army is:
"Never try to eat anything larger than your head."
Trust me, this will keep you out of a lot of trouble and potential difficulties with the Chicas.
Good hunting Hunt, Shane
I always thought it was a joke. Okay, like after, I don't know, maybe 17 days in a row--a couple times double-dipping--I just wasn't able to function today. I might have been embarrassed, but I just told the girl, "look, you're great and all that, but you're like the twentieth chica I've fucked in the last month and I am SPENT." So I sent her on her merry way. The truth is, the fucking wasn't all that great and I just didn't give a shit anymore.
Here's the rub: there's no good rule of thumb to follow other than "if you're even feeling a tiny bit half-hearted about it, just go." If you're shown a line-up of girls and there's even the slightest bit of apathy coarsing through your Johnson. If you're at a club and you start worrying about drink prices, hit the door. If you're on the massage table and you don't even feel a flutter, just ask her to massage you for another 20 minutes and tell her that you're getting married and you're feeling a little guilty.
Jesus CHRIST--my kibbles BITTEN the dust. My once pocket rocket is now just lap taffy.
...are under consideration. However, a multi-purpose Law is today's
Hunt's Law Number Three: If it doesn't smell right, leave it alone.
This is such an important Law on many levels. While positive first impressions won't always carry over to the bedroom, you can be absolutely certain that a negative first impression will result in a below-average fuck, sometimes even netting you one of those famed "Psycho Chicas" that every monger fears. Moreover, without going into clinical medical detail, well, you get the idea. Unless your idea of fun is a mouth full of cottage cheese. Yes she might look beautiful, yes she might be a tasty little treat, but if she's a cold fish in the club she's likely to be a cold fish between the sheets. And as for the other meaning, when desiring fine dining you want your fish to be grouper or mahi mahi, not bearded clam with special sauce.
. Are under consideration. However, a multi-purpose Law is today's.
Hunt's Law Number Three: If it doesn't smell right, leave it alone.
This is such an important Law on many levels. While positive first impressions won't always carry over to the bedroom, you can be absolutely certain that a negative first impression will result in a below-average fuck, sometimes even netting you one of those famed "Psycho Chicas" that every monger fears. Moreover, without going into clinical medical detail, well, you get the idea. Unless your idea of fun is a mouth full of cottage cheese. Yes she might look beautiful, yes she might be a tasty little treat, but if she's a cold fish in the club she's likely to be a cold fish between the sheets. And as for the other meaning, when desiring fine dining you want your fish to be grouper or mahi mahi, not bearded clam with special sauce.For me this is rule Numero Uno! Yes, you might get a bad apple every now and then from an initially smiling, personable gato, BUT common sense should prevail. If they are quiet, sullen, argumentative and the list of obvious negatives goes on and on-AVOID! The chances of a gato like that ending up being a good experience are very, very poor. Course, if you are hell bent to loosen up that tough chica with your winning ways and hefty monger unit-have at it! That'll be one less troublesome chica off the market that night!:)
StrayLight
05-04-07, 00:17
I've always had two ironclad rules:
1. Be ready, willing and able to walk out of any transaction at any time. Even if you have your dick in an orifice and are about to come, don't ever surrender your control over the situation. This is related to Rule #3, below, only to me it's a bit stronger.
2. Always leave a transaction with your self-respect intact.
There are probably some additional guidelines I could list, but those two are the biggies, and they've served me very well over the years.
SL
So my rule is:
There is only going to be one with a belly in my bed, and that is me!
Hunt's Law Number Four: Never pay first.
Understandably, a lot of chicas are going to press you to pay them your agreed price first. DON'T DO IT. It's not a foregone conclusion, but if you pay them first, your chances of a substandard, piss-poor fuck have just gone up 300%. Make them work for their money, make them realize that if they don't do what they promised, if they try to leave before the agreed-upon time, if they just lay there like a dead fish in bed - they're not going to get the money they so desperately want. If they tell you they want to be paid up front, tell them no, and tell them a white lie as to why - you've "always had bad experiences with girls who got paid up front." If she still insists on being paid first, or makes a stink about it, refer to Hunt's Law Number Three: If it doesn't smell right, leave it alone. In other words, if she says "no sexo antes el dinero" tell her "Hasta la vista, baby!" and throw her ass out. Be a man. Stand your ground. You'll feel much better about yourself later.
Hunt: my small contribution: better in person. Feel free to take it or discard it, but some times you see amazing ladies on pictures and either pictures are 100% fake or the girl has something wrong which unable is to see on the picture. Also, for me, attitude and chemistry, thus, tired girl, etc are not perceptible on a picture. (this apply considering than calling internet girls is part of the mongering excerise) Good job!
Hunt's Law Number Five: Mongering is a serious business.
Commentary: Mongering is all about physical pleasure for its own sake. Don't fall in love with a chica! If you want a girlfriend, mongering is absolutely the wrong hobby. Many good men, wiser and smarter than you, have crashed and burned when they have fallen for that Hollywood staple, the "Hooker with a heart of gold." Like most Hollywood stories, it's pure bullshit. Get a clue - they're hookers because they're desperate and they need money, not because there's anything especially noble or exciting about working in a privado, getting stuffed with a half-dozen strange cocks on a daily basis. Some of you will doubtless ignore this important rule. You will become the subject of salacious stories traded around on this site by PM, with people snickering about how you did your thinking with your small head instead of your big one. If you want to save the world, give money to the Salvation Army, not to a hooker that you want to reform.
Potential Hunts Law: Don't Hunt in new territory when you are Horny!
Hopefully you guys can help me massage this into a worthy Hunts law. Basically, you've seen this happen to the "other" guy many times. He gets out of sex prison and you bring him to a brothel in Dominica or a Cafe in Argentina and he's like a kid in a candy store. Within 20 minutes he has hooked up with a mediocre chica and is happy as a clam. The problem is, he will pay too much, get short service and won't have the respect of the bitches for when he comes back the next time. If he had played it cool he could have had the best chick, longer & cheaper and the girls would worship at his feet when he comes back.
How do I avoid this? It you know you are going to the Candy store Jerk Off! Yes, burn off that excess horniness that will lead you astray. When you get to the joint you will find that the ordinary girls look REALLY ordinary and the pretty girls look okay. Over the course of an hour or more you will figure out, cooly, which girls are MAKING you horny & which girls you have a vibe with. By the time you make your selection, you will have wood because the ***** is worth of thy staff, not because you just got out sex prision.
Hope you find this worthy.
Potential Hunts Law: Don't Hunt in new territory when you are Horny!
How do I avoid this? It you know you are going to the Candy store Jerk Off! Yes, burn off that excess horniness that will lead you astray. This may or may not make Hunt's list, but it is definitely at odds with Exon's theory on sperm management.;)
Hunt's Law Number Six: Know before you go.
Commentary: This law has applicability on several levels. In essence, it is a command for you to do your homework before setting off to monger. Do research, especially use the resources of this board and its sister boards, International Sex Guide and USA Sex Guide. Have an idea of prices, customs, and services. If it's a foreign destination for you, definitely try to learn some of the language, because it will greatly aid you in negotiating and dealing with not only chicas, but with service staff and just plain citizens. Have an idea of what kinds of ripoffs are out there, and how to avoid them. For most mongers, there is simply no pressing need to "reinvent the wheel" and to "explore unexplored corners," and if you do, you'll end up like a recent poster on this board who visited something like 30 unreviewed privados and found a grand total of 2 women worth fucking. So, monger friends, the command is to be always ready, or as you ex-Coast Guardsmen surely know, Semper Paratus
I hope Strad will forgive me for quoting him from his post of the 18th of Feb. 2006.
"... Avoid service from a chica 2 days before her menstruation..."
Actually, it's a little more complex than this but Hunt can transform the idea into one of his laws of mongering
"Hunt's Laws of Mongering" are intended to be like the laws of physics - laws of universal application. (You cosmologists who'll claim the laws of physics don't work inside a quasar or some such nonsense can stop reading right now.)
Thus, to say "Spinners are the best!" or "Don't drill a chica during her period!" while probably good advice coming from the poster's perspective, aren't truly laws of universal application. Face it, there are some mongers, Sidney for example, who are so demented and gross that they really don't care what the woman they're screwing looks like. They're truly aficionados of Hunt's First Law of Mongering: The cock you please must be your own. On the other hand, it's never a good idea to violate Hunt's Law Number Four, Never pay first, even if you're drilling a hooker so ugly that even Punter127 wouldn't fuck her. (I hesitate to imagine a hooker who could be that ugly, but according to 127 you can be assured they are plentiful in the RD.)
So, keep this concept in mind - I certainly appreciate all your suggestions, but I feel it is my mongering duty to set forth a list of rules so that even the greenest of mongers can have fun, and which apply to all of us equally.
Daddy Rulz
05-10-07, 12:15
"On the other hand, it's never a good idea to violate Hunt's Law Number Four, Never pay first, even if you're drilling a hooker so ugly that even Punter127 wouldn't fuck her. (I hesitate to imagine a hooker who could be that ugly, but according to 127 you can be assured they are plentiful in the RD.If their was a hooker too ugly for 127, Flexible Horn is surely plugging her in the UK.
Punter 127
05-13-07, 04:24
Remember Hunt's Law Number One: The cock you please must be your own.:p
Hunt's Law Number Four: Never pay first.
Understandably, a lot of chicas are going to press you to pay them your agreed price first. DON'T DO IT. It's not a foregone conclusion, but if you pay them first, your chances of a substandard, piss-poor fuck have just gone up 300%. Make them work for their money, make them realize that if they don't do what they promised, if they try to leave before the agreed-upon time, if they just lay there like a dead fish in bed - they're not going to get the money they so desperately want. If they tell you they want to be paid up front, tell them no, and tell them a white lie as to why - you've "always had bad experiences with girls who got paid up front." If she still insists on being paid first, or makes a stink about it, refer to Hunt's Law Number Three: If it doesn't smell right, leave it alone. In other words, if she says "no sexo antes el dinero" tell her "Hasta la vista, baby!" and throw her ass out. Be a man. Stand your ground. You'll feel much better about yourself later.I agree 100% and I follow it but what do you recommend in privados. 99.9% privados are asking up front and thats were most of us get fucked.
Thanks for your help.
Tiger
Hotman 666
05-15-07, 10:30
A pilot friend of mine has a saying that is applicable to our hobby.
"If it flies, floats or fucks it's better to hire than to buy!"
He's not wrong!
Regards,
Hotman
Punter 127
05-19-07, 21:58
The dynamic person is your dangerous enemy. Don't listen to his ''urgings''!I have always tought of You as a "dynamic person" Sid.:p
I agree 100% and I follow it but what do you recommend in privados. 99.9% privados are asking up front and thats were most of us get fucked.
Thanks for your help.
TigerYou raise a good point here, Tiger. There are some privados where you can pay afterwards. However, most are "pay first." My suggestion would be to frequent places that don't require this, OR make a point of talking about a propina before your chosen chica begins working on you. If she knows she'll be given extra compensation in return for a good session, then she'll have that incentive that a chica can only get by paying afterwards will have. Another possibility is to discuss the propina part with the madam, you can be sure it will be relayed instantaneously to the chicas before the madam begins the cattle call.
There are, of course, a few cheap fucks who don't tip at all in privados. To those guys, I say "You get what you pay for." ;)
Judging from his latest, sparse posts, it appears El Sid is reading the "I Ching". Any tantric sex El Sid?
I decided to put this here after reading a few reviews. It's almost absurd to review a privado / spa and not a person. One time I went to Croix and had an absolutely miserable time. The chica was so incompetent that Mr. Happy went into hiding, I pushed her away, got dressed and got the hell out. On another occasion, though, I had a near spiritual moment with a playful tattooed Porteņa with a serious naughty streak.
Still, I don't frequent Croix much because they usually don't give you the chica presentation. As a rule, I like to see before I buy and try to get a sense of what the Porteņos call "onda" (the person's "vibe" in English) If it's not too busy, you can ask for a lineup (puedo ver las chicas antes? And they will oblige. I usually turn around and walk out if I can't see the girls first.
In fact, I walked out of two places yesterday after not particularly being enamored with any of the chicas presented to me. It's okay to say "maybe next time," I do it all the time. Remember, there are bushels of pussy in BsAs, and unless you're about to bust, move onto the next place.
Some places give you photos (e. G. The Blue Center - 1114 Santa Fe 6D) but you can't judge onda and you often end up with a girl who looks nothing like the picture.
There are a lot of variables and there is no perfect science to choosing a girl, but to me, onda is the singular best predictor of a good time. Don't automatically go for the girl with the nicest rack or the prettiest face!
Daddy Rulz
01-04-08, 14:40
There are a lot of variables and there is no perfect science to choosing a girl, but to me, onda is the singular best predictor of a good time. Don't automatically go for the girl with the nicest rack or the prettiest face!This could be the best privado advise ever posted here. I try to pick the ones that are not sullen, unless I'm pissed at some woman and feel like fucking somebody that doesn't want to fuck me. Though I have to be honest and admit the a great rack does tend to sway my judgment.
Thanks Tiger.
Followed your advice to the letter. I know it was good advice but at the time the girl is in your room, you are horney. You know how it is. But I stuck to your advice, did not pay up front and tossed her ass out when she insisted in the money first. I gave her taxi fare but figured I saved alot more as not only would I have been out the money but angry at myself for reading good advice but not taking it.
And I was happy about it after.
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