Monger at the crossroads

[Benton Quest]

Gentlemen – First of all, my apologies (in advance) for the lengthy post. If you are in a hurry, skip this one and move on. I am a somewhat experienced U. S. Perv and minor league monger but very much of a newbie to the international hobby. My only fucking forays into anything outside of the US of A can be counted on one hand: Mexican border towns and one quick trip to Costa Rica. The results of those trips have been very encouraging but I still consider myself to be a true green pea to this wonderful hobby.

Having said that, I seem to be in the throes of a true midlife crisis and need the advice of the monger brotherhood that populates this site (and the ISG) If any group could offer up some relevant comments and suggestions, it would be this one I am the typical American 40-something male on the typical American treadmill: good job with a big company, great benefits, lovely wife, beautiful house in the burbs, couple of shiny new cars in the garage, swell vacation every year, blah, blah, blah. Should be deliriously happy, right? Wrong. Instead, I find a curious trend developing: Seems like just about every day finds me even less interested in career, family, politics, books, sports, etc. And instead more and more obsessed with sex. I have an above-average sexual relationship with my wife of twenty years but it's absolutely nowhere near enough to keep me (and my dick) happy. I am always on the lookout for new action and I'm fairly successful in finding it. But still I need something else.

All of which brings me to the mongering hobby. When I first came across (no pun intended) ISG and AP I found both sites interesting and fun but that was about all. I enjoyed reading the posts and of course loved the photos but that was about it. Then as I started really digging into the posts and trading PMs with some true like-minded mongers, it slowly dawned on me that this was exactly what I was looking for. I began thinking more and more about devoting myself to this new calling and less and less about every day American life. I started working up schemes to get out of town for a week of mongering on the sly (still can't wait for my September Costa Rica tip! But also began to seriously consider what it might be like to jump completely into uncharted waters. What would my life be like if I lived full time in San Jose, Buenos Aires or even Lima and devoted all of my time, my resources and my sperm to playing with these young chicas?

How could I scrape up enough cash to even begin to think about this? (Keeping in mind the American propensity to save little and spend $1.01 for every dollar made! Where would I go? Would I enjoy it as much as I think I would? After a couple of months of banging little Latinas would it get old and I'd find myself booking a cheap flight back to the US? Would a chance to fuck anything I wanted really be worth giving up everything?

I am still very much wrestling with these questions (and many more) and I am appealing to the experienced members of this board to offer up some sage advice. The only advantage to having a little gray in my hair is that I am far less impulsive than in years past. Making sense of this is actually easier now than it would have been twenty years ago. Then, I'd have done all of my thinking with the little head. Now, I'll make sure that there is water in the pool before I leap from the diving board. I have to think that several of you have faced this fork in the road and made some tough decisions. I'd like the opportunity to learn from your successes and, frankly, your mistakes as well. If you feel compelled to pass along your wisdom, please post here or send me a PM.

And thanks in advance.

[Pete Puma]

It sounds like you are at the end of the diving board and now you want a little push. Well it won't come from me. If you read a little you will see that a lot of mongers are looking for a little more than just some sex with some young girls and even that is hard to do. If you care for your family then keep your fantasy a fantasy. You will regret hurting your family, maybe not at first but you will regret it. Some mistakes are hard to take back. The best advice is not to do it. Look at it this way, a lot of people envy your life. A nice family and a good job, that is a nice fantasy, some of us want that, you have that. Good luck on your choice, just DON'T BE STUPID.

[El Perro]

Strike a bargain with your lust, but only if you are absolutley certain your wife / family will not discover your infidelity. Can you travel alone without suspicion? Have you in the past? If so, take a trip to BsAs and see for yourself what is here, and what is not. Your idea about bolting tried and true for some ill sketched fantasy in another country needs review. Be patient and take small steps, otherwise, you will fuck up.

[Rock Harders]

BQ,

I would recommend taking several trips down to Buenos Aires or other desired location and see if you really like the life down here. I am in a very different situation than you (mid 20's) and I've lived down here for 2 years and I can honestly say its been the thrill ride of a lifetime so far. The amount of fine pussy available down here is just incomprehensible to the average American guy sitting in front of his computer back in the EEUU.

However, the fact remains that you have responsibilities and people who are dependent on you for survival in your current life in the EEUU. It would be fucked up to abandon your children before they turn 18 years old and move out of the house / go off to college. After that, you have got to do what gives you thrills and pleasure. More than 50% of marriages in the EEUU end in divorce anyway, so its not like your wife could be especially shocked if her marriage ends that way.

Another thing to consider is your self, ask yourself, I am a truly "out there", I am really a sick enough pervert so far adrift from the ho-hum middle class American puke fest that I can handle the Buenos Aires life. You need to understand that the hardcore full-time Buenos Aires residents (myself included of course) think about and act upon sex like a heroin addict is constantly thinking about and searching for his next fix. For twisted people like myself and others, the mainstream American life is just unthinkable at this point and that is why we live here.

In the end upon coming to your decision, remember this advice given to me by my monger uncle: "one day your going to be dead, and then thats it, so you need to have a good time now."

Suerte,

Dirk Diggler

[TomChadwick]

BQ,

Just visit BA and you will fall in love with the pussy and how young it is. But that is it. All chicas are out for your money and have nothing to give back except their bodies. Just enjoy your life and wait for your vacations to Ba and you will be glad your back in the states everytime you come back. BA is a great time and great to visit, I want to retire their only 1/4 of my life. Only. Some time in the US. Some time traveling around the world. Too many chicas out their to settle down in BA full time. But then again. Everytime I go there. I can't wait to come back.

[Jaimito Cartero]

You will get bored of it sooner or later. Much better to save up all your passion, and hit a place in a week or two, and wear yourself out. I know that when I'm in one location for a month or more, it quickly gets boring. I believe the symptoms you're describing is probably a true sex addict, as you seem about to throw everything away.

I'm sure there are real sex addicts among our membership, but most guys seem to like to come down for a week or two, and blow off steam, among other things.

I've got enough assets that I could travel around the world for the next 20 years, in my own miserly fashion. However, I'd prefer to work a bit longer, build up some more assets, to be comfortable into my old age, in the unlikely event I live that long.:)

[Exon123]

Benton Quest,

You are one "Sick MotherFucker" entertaining those thoughts, You'd better grow up, "smell the Rose's" and be very thankful for what you've got.

"It doesn't take any brains to be stupid", CockSucker.

Grow Up.

Exon

[Andres]

BQ,

After a few weeks, your hunger of mongering with chicas will probably wear out. You will miss your favorite things from the US, your friends, etc.

Mongering remains charming to me because it lets me escape from the day-to-day responsabilities and be a childish adult from time to time. If my life were full-time mongering, I would feel the needs to escape from it.

We humans are always looking for something new and challenging. Paradise turns boring too after a while.

As Doggboy said, take small steps and see for yourself, or find a job that allows you to travel often to hobbying destinations.

Good luck and think with your big head.

Andres

[David_33]

It's easy for all the guys on the forum to tell you to forget about it. Because we aren't in your situation, and at least speaking for myself, have plenty of opportunities to enjoy ourselves with cute latinas.

I personally, living in Peru, probably do what you are fantasizing about. I can get laid by different girls every day if I want. This is possible because I live in the country. Now that I am in B. A. for a few days, my situation is not as ideal, but there are still no lack of mongering possibilities.

I can't imagine being in your situation. Your normal biological urges to get laid are held in check by the fact of living in sex prison and your responsibilities as a father. You only have one life to live, and sitting around feeling frustrated for the next 20 years until you have little testosterone left doesn't make much sense to me.

Why don't you either change jobs or try to be reassigned where you now work to a position which lets you travel or at least gives you an excuse to leave your home more often. If you plan your trips correctly, like Jaimito does, you can get down here to South America fairly cheaply and if you read the forum, you can get laid without spending all that much.

[Geo Eye]

I personally, living in Peru, probably do what you are fantasizing about. I can get laid by different girls every day if I want. This is possible because I live in the country.Tell me david 33 how are the sluts in Peru, I have heard the peruvian are buring with passion ready, and like to fuck like driniking a glass of water, Tell me are they all working?

How much.

[StrayLight]

Some years ago I was at the bedside of a dying man -- a friend of the family -- in New York City. He was in his mid-80s, and he had been phenomenally successful and was very wealthy. He had started and owned his own sucessful company...had a great penthouse on Manhattan's Upper East Side...a great (and great looking) wife...etc.

So there he was, in bed, with tubes coming out of every orifice and a table full of pain pills and such next to the bed, looking straight ahead into his impending death. I asked him if he had any regrets, and he said no, and closed his eyes.

Then, a minute or so later, one of his eyes opened up a bit with a bit of a fire in them, like the final scene in "Terminator." And he said that yes, he did have one regret. He said he wished he had fucked more girls in his life. He started going on about how his specialty had been seducing the childrens' nannies, and he went on to tell me of his favorites. As he talked, he got more energized and actually sat up. I started prompting him with questions about specifics, and pretty soon he was practically waving his arms around the room telling me of the great fucks in his life. But he made it clear that, regardless of what his final tally had been, it had never been enough. And we actually made a plan to go out in the wheelchair the following week and check out the chicks in one of the local parks. Unfortunately, he died before we ever did that.

I took it to heart, and decided that the last thing on earth I wanted to be regretting on my own deathbed was not having fucked enough girls. This is one reason I monger. And it's also one reason why, no matter how bad or weird the actual sexual encounter goes, I still file it away as something to remember fondly.

And so on the one hand, I cannot fault your urge to break out and get your dick wet on as many occassions as possible.


What would my life be like if I...devoted all of my time, my resources and my sperm to playing with these young chicas? On the other hand, I personally always try to keep in mind something the writer Annie Dillard said, which was something like, "How we spend our days is, in the end, how we spend our lives."

When that dying guy was on his deathbed, although he did have a regret, he also had a huge amount of pride in having raised some great kids...of having started and managed a very successful company...of any number of things he had done. His pride at his successes far outweighted his one regret.

The point being, at some point you're going to have to look back on your life and ask what's it been all about. To me, tossing away a family and career and any number of other things simply to fuck as many girls as you can would be pretty lame. To me, you would not be an interesting guy to talk to or hang out with, for sure.

Do what you will. But my advice is that if you are really that profoundly bored with what you have, then take the energy and go start a business or a new career or read Proust or learn to play the saxaphone or something along those lines, and keep the fucking of strange chicas in its proper perspective.

[El Perro]

Benton Quest's request for advise has prompted a number of interesting, and one hopes, helpful responses. A bit of a look into the minds of mongers as well. From sage advise from many, to Geo Eye's request for further information about Peruvian sluts. LOL. So, what do you say BQ? Any feedback?

[David_33]

Geo Eye, go to ISG and check out the Peru thread. I have some posts and pics which might interest you. My mother / daughter post is in the posts of distinction thread.

[Rockin Bob]

StrayLight: I'm very disappointed! I was waiting for a great punchline!

Benton: I'm of the same mind as Sidney: you're gonna get caught! You have to choose between one or the other life. Hold on to what you've got!

My advice: are you more like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty or Keanu Reeves in the Matrix?

If you want to give up what you have for a bunch of chicas, I'd really think hard and twice about it.

On the other hand, if it's time for you to snap out of the American Dream and enjoy being free of (1) a million useless possessions and (2) a suffocating life style, then go for it.

For me, it's great having the chicas but what I like more is the freedom. What I like about South America is not only being able to go to a whorehouse but just the fact that there is a whorehouse you can go to and it's no big deal.

Heck, I could probably wear a Bong Hits 4 Jesus T-shirt without any problem.

[Artisttyp]

*A fuck is for the moment but a family is forever.

Have you ever considered wife swapping or could you not talk about that with your wife? She may feel the same way you do.

Banging chicas gets old after awhile but all it takes is a week back in the states to realize its not a bad way to be bored.

[Benton Quest]

The response to my post yesterday has been nothing short of overwhelming. In addition to all of the public responses attached to this string, I have been buried in PMs. And, as always, opinions are like assholes – everybody has one. Which was the whole point of my original posting: I was trying to pick the brains of a group of like-minded guys on some very tough questions.

The responses have been from one end of the spectrum to the other. I have heard "Stop! Save yourself!" several times. I have also heard "Make sure you load up on Vitamin V and AstroGlide on your way to the airport". I have been publicly motherfucked and I have also had an on-the-house offer from a monger to line me up with a pair of 18 year old spinners as soon as I land.

If all of this discussion has not led me yet to a definite plan, it certainly proves to me that there are some good shits out there who would take the time to offer up their heartfelt advice to a total stranger. This group seems to really give a fuck about what happens to a possible rookie addition to the brotherhood and that strikes me as the best possible result to my public posting. However I decide to proceed, I feel pretty good knowing that you'd piss away your valuable time on my problems.

[StrayLight]

StrayLight: I'm very disappointed! I was waiting for a great punchline!Yeah man, that's what my agent keeps telling me, too. LOL!

[Polvo]

......For me, it's great having the chicas but what I like more is the freedom. What I like about South America is not only being able to go to a whorehouse but just the fact that there is a whorehouse you can go to and it's no big deal.....And that really is the crux of the problem with Sex Prison. If that freedom was present how much happier people would be. And fewer people would be at the crossroads.

For a land that is supposed to be free it is extremely restrictive. But, on the other hand, for a country that was founded by people that even the English thought were too uptight, perhaps this should be no surprise!

America - Land of the Home, Free of the Brave?

Suerte!

Polvo

[AllemanMan]

Your list for the typical American 40-something male on the typical American treadmill doesn't include kids. If you don't have kids, maybe you should attempt negotiations with your wife regarding some sex vacations, she might like getting her pussy licked by some little **** while sitting on your cock. If your wife gets into it, life is very good. If she doesn't, and it's important enough to you that you are free to fuck everything in sight, maybe you shouldn't be married. A great mind around here once offered the following bit of wisdom, "The dick you please must be your own."

If you do have kids, and they don't make your list, you might not be a good person. In my case, my world revolves around my kids. I like it that way. But like you I have a bigger sex drive than my wife can accommodate. I love my wife and way love my kids, so I work around it.

I'm a little older than you, and married well into my 30's and naively thought at the time that I had fucked all the strange pussy I needed to and had gotten it "out of my system" I thought wrong. Seemingly, it doesn't leave your system, it lies there dormant, sort of like the herpes virus, only to become active when you are stressed, or otherwise weakened.

Straylight tells a good story. My opinion however is that at the end of everyone's life, there is some likelihood that there will be regrets about something. Not enough strange pussy, why didn't I tell ol' whatshername I loved her, I wish I hadn't fucked up my marriage, and had kids, I wish I done better by my kids, why didn't I see the world, learn to play the piano, whatever. It won't be until the end of your life that your perspective will have been perfected sufficiently for you to have an honest, unpressured opinion. Nobody's perfect, you're gonna fuck some things up.

So, if I'm in your shoes, the first question I ask myself is, "Who gets hurt?

Are they getting hurt because I said I'd do one thing, then did another?

If the answer to that one is yes, you are certainly a bad person. This could however be advantageous.

The final question is,"How soon am I going to get tired of fucking pussy I don't care about, and start looking around for another wife." Now here is where the potential for feeling really, really stupid lurks.

Spend some time with the above questions. You'll be fine.