Stan Da Man
11-28-08, 19:08
Here's the third story in my "First-24-Hours-in-BA" Trilogy. The other two are posted under Cafe Orleans and Police threads. This one's not as interesting, but at least it has pictures. As with all posts in this Trilogy, I'm a bit long-winded.
As mentioned in the story under the Police thread, my two amigos and I went to Black on our first night in town. My colleagues hooked up with two old flames and took them back to our casa, which came complete with a large hot tub and sun deck on the top floor. These two chicas really dug the sun deck and, after my friends had had their way with them, they invited themselves over the next day to tan, hang out, drink some beer and whatever. Sounded good to my friends, so they told them to come by around 2:00 in the afternoon.
The next day for lunch we went to an awesome little Italian art house / cafe on Gorriti between Arevalo and Ravignani, on the southeast side of the street, about mid-block. Can't remember the name, but if you get to that block, it has tremendous food. While we were eating, Amigo #1 got a call from his novia from the previous evening. His chica speaks a little English, and he speaks no Spanish. After a minute, he hands me the phone to try to make sense of what she's saying. She tells me she is moving apartments; she is almost finished; her friend is helping her and they will be at our house around 3:00 p. M. I understood most of what she was saying (not all) and kept saying "a las tres de la tarde" and repeating the address to our casa, "hasta pronto."
I thought she probably believed I didn't understand because Amigo #2's phone rang within a minute after I hung up with Amigo #1's novia. Amigo #2 also speaks no Spanish and just handed me the phone once he determined it was his novia from the night before. She asked when we were going to be at the casa. I said at "dos de la tarde," and she said she would be there at tres. I said "magnifico! Hasta pronto."
Great. The two of them were coming over at 3:00 -- or so I thought. But, it turns out that, when Novia #1 said she was coming over with her friend, she meant a totally different amiga than the girl that Amigo #2 was with the night before. When Novia #2 called Amigo #2 right after we hung up with Novia #1, it was a complete coincidence. Neither knew the other was calling and we later learned that these two gatas hate each other.
So, around 3:30 p. M. Our doorbell rings. Amigo #2 goes downstairs and there are three people there asking him questions in Spanish. He sends me down. It's Novia #1 with a very cute friend -- and some big dude. She explains that her friends have been helping her move to a new apartment and wants to know if her girlfriend can come up, as well. I wasn't sure what to think -- except her girlfriend was young and cute (see pictures) -- so I said "no problema." Then, she explained that the big dude was her friend's brother. He had also helped her move, and her friend's mom would not let her go anywhere with alcohol unless her brother came. She said he was her "security." The big dude spoke no English whatsoever but seemed friendly enough. I thought, perhaps, that Amigo #1 had pre-arranged for his Novia to bring a friend for me -- although the big dude didn't work with that scenario -- so I said "sure." I knew Novia #1 from previous trips, so she had some credibility.
The three of them came in. My other two Amigos were wondering what was going on at that point, and I was kind of looking at Amigo #1 for a similar explanation, but he didn't expect extra company either. We grabbed a bunch of beers and headed up to the sun deck. Within 5 minutes or so, Novia #2 arrived and the party was under way.
Everything immediately got awkward and interesting at the same time. So, we're up on this sundeck, it's 90 degrees and perfectly sunny, and we've got three beautiful chicas in bikinis frolicking about. What could be better? Except it's very weird. There's four dudes. One is supposed to be the third chica's brother / security. He's very deferential -- he doesn't want any beer, but he'll take one if you insist. He'll sit over in the corner and watch, but he'll try to engage a bit. The guy is truly built and could be security or even this chica's brother, but no one has really explained what the deal is. Plus, there's this weird dynamic between Chica #3 and the brother / security she brought. At various points, she's really giving him shit about his girlfriend who she characterizes as gorda and fea, and he's clearly getting pissed. She then starts to call him gay and she's razzing the hell out of the guy. At other times, she tells him to look away and "no dice mama," and she takes off her top and / or bikini bottoms for a bit.
She's sitting on everyone's lap at one point or another (with bikini back on) and insisting that everyone take pictures of her in various poses. The pictures I've attached don't do her justice as they were taken with a cheap iPhone camera, and I haven't even put up the best of them (because I'm in them) The gal is clearly a stunner, but she claims she's a pre-school teacher still living at home with her mom and not in the Profession.
After about two hours of this simultaneous flirtation / haze your brother / security, Novia #1 gets a telephone call. It seems she's forgotten to leave the keys to the apartment she just moved out of. She and security guy are going to drive back to the apartment to drop off the keys. Cool. That leaves us with baby sister and Novia #2. By this time, however, baby sister appears to be getting rather tipsy and it becomes somewhat apparent that she's on some kind of drug.
So, the other two leave and baby sister continues her act. She's flitting about asking everyone to take pictures of her, sitting on my and Amigo #1s laps, and she just can't sit still for more than 20 seconds. Novia #2 is gritting her teeth because she hates the rest of them, so she and Amigo #2 go downstairs and have at it.
Now, the apartment that Novia #1 moved out of is just 5 minutes away near Paraguay and Malabia. It shouldn't take them too long to drop off keys and come back -- especially since they were driving.
Meanwhile, Amigo #1 and I are chatting with Chica #3, salivating a bit but also somewhat perplexed. Amigo #1 has a girl -- and Chica #3 is supposed to be her best friend -- so he's interested but still a little gun shy. I'm intrigued, except so far the party line has been that this girl is not in the business, and her brother / security guy is a bit ominous. He's absent at this point, but they should be back in 5-10 minutes if all they're doing is dropping off keys.
15 minutes pass and they don't return. 30 minutes pass and they don't return. All the while, we're thinking they'll be back any second. Plus, Amigo #1 has given them the keys to our casa, so they can get back in by themselves. I chewed him out for this, but nothing bad ultimately happened and, as I mentioned, he'd been with Novia #1 several times before.
Eventually, I decide that she's too much for me -- young and hot, but clearly on something. She's started to grind her teeth and you can see the faintest of twitches every now and again. I'm out.
Amigo #1 goes down to the kitchen to get more beers. She follows him and, literally, corners him. As he describes it, the teeth grinding has become a bit more pronounced at that point, and she is talking a mile a minute -- mostly in Spanish which he doesn't understand. What he does understand is that she wants someone to bang her. She bends over and pulls down the bikini bottoms and tells him to take her. He thinks his friend and Chica #3's security will be back any second, open the door, shazam, instant chaos. She tells him to take the cola and don't worry about the globo. As he describes it, 'it took every ounce of energy I had to resist, and I still kick myself to this day.'
So, he doesn't bang her. I don't bang her. Another half hour passes and Novia #1 finally calls to say they are lost. Lost? It's 5 minutes away? At this point, Chica #3 changes from teeth-grinding and talkative to somewhat despondent. She's either upset that she didn't get banged, or the drugs are wearing off, or both. At any rate, she's now back up on the sundeck chatting away on her cell phone with friends and drinking champagne. She's gotten dressed again.
I'm still thinking about it but, given my last 24 hours, I'm not going to venture near. I'm just looking for one day of normalcy, and then I can turn back to weird. By this time, Amigo #2 and Novia #2 have re-emerged from the bedroom. Novia #2 is a bit drunk, and she's not a nice drunk. She wants us to kick Chica #3 to the curb, and she's razzing the hell out of Amigo #1 for being so stupid as to give Novia #1 his keys. To be fair, I started this, but this gal took it to a whole new level.
Another hour passes and Novia #1 still hasn't come back with Chica #3's brother / security. Eventually, Novia #2 gets loudmouthed enough that Amigo #2 sends her home. That leaves three dudes and one despondent, somewhat crazy and / or drug addled Chica #3. She's starting to get really sleepy at this point, and she's still somewhat drunk, so we suggest that perhaps it's time to go. At that point, her security / brother finally comes back -- sans Novia #1 -- with the keys. As near as I could tell with my limited Spanish, he apologizes. We tell him his sister is still on the sun roof. He goes up and walks her down, apologizes again, and they leave. She's clearly intoxicated at this point and in need of sleep, although she still did have all her teeth, so the grinding wasn't too bad.
That's a rather uneventful end to a rather weird story that concluded my first 24 hours in BA. We never did figure out what was up with all this. Was Chica #3 a pro? Sure seemed like it, but both she and her friend denied it. Was security dude really her brother? Sure seemed like it, but it was a bit odd that the guy left (and took Novia #1) with him. It was even weirder that they left on a 10-15 minute errand but stayed gone for 2 and a half hours. Had they given us advance notice of this, things would have turned out differently.
Our surmise was that Big Dude was her pimp, although he never let down his guard. He claimed he worked as security at the Italian Embassy guarding diplomats when they were in town. He said some other things that seemed to fit that profile, as well. He certainly was built well enough to be some sort of security. But, then he claimed that he used to be Maradonna's body guard five years back, and that didn't seem to add up. If he was her pimp, I would have expected Novia #1 to tip us off at some point. At a minimum, I would have expected that we would have gotten a price quote out of one of them -- Pimp, Novia #1 or Chica #3 -- or all of them. Never happened.
Another theory was that Big Dude was Novia #1's boyfriend. That would explain why they were gone for 2 and 1/2 hours, but it raises a bunch of other questions (like why bother coming over in the first place)
Perhaps everything was exactly as presented. Big Dude was security / brother to Chica #3. Chica #3 was a hot, young non-pro drug addled nymphomaniac who just has to have it. Her mom knows this, which is why she sent Brother / Big Dude / Security along for the ride. We never did figure it out.
For my part, I've still got Chica #3's e-mail and have traded a few with her. If she'll work without security, who knows what may happen next time? For some crank and a hundred pesos, a guy might be able to have a pretty good time. We'll see.
At any rate, this concludes my first-24-hours-in-BA trilogy. I wish I could say that I, or one of us or all of us banged the stuffing out of the little hottie, but we didn't. Had this been the first event after arriving in BA, it might have been different. But, after getting smacked around by chicas and rousted by the cops the day before, we had lost a bit of our collective edge. Pity, really, but that's why god made return trips.
As mentioned in the story under the Police thread, my two amigos and I went to Black on our first night in town. My colleagues hooked up with two old flames and took them back to our casa, which came complete with a large hot tub and sun deck on the top floor. These two chicas really dug the sun deck and, after my friends had had their way with them, they invited themselves over the next day to tan, hang out, drink some beer and whatever. Sounded good to my friends, so they told them to come by around 2:00 in the afternoon.
The next day for lunch we went to an awesome little Italian art house / cafe on Gorriti between Arevalo and Ravignani, on the southeast side of the street, about mid-block. Can't remember the name, but if you get to that block, it has tremendous food. While we were eating, Amigo #1 got a call from his novia from the previous evening. His chica speaks a little English, and he speaks no Spanish. After a minute, he hands me the phone to try to make sense of what she's saying. She tells me she is moving apartments; she is almost finished; her friend is helping her and they will be at our house around 3:00 p. M. I understood most of what she was saying (not all) and kept saying "a las tres de la tarde" and repeating the address to our casa, "hasta pronto."
I thought she probably believed I didn't understand because Amigo #2's phone rang within a minute after I hung up with Amigo #1's novia. Amigo #2 also speaks no Spanish and just handed me the phone once he determined it was his novia from the night before. She asked when we were going to be at the casa. I said at "dos de la tarde," and she said she would be there at tres. I said "magnifico! Hasta pronto."
Great. The two of them were coming over at 3:00 -- or so I thought. But, it turns out that, when Novia #1 said she was coming over with her friend, she meant a totally different amiga than the girl that Amigo #2 was with the night before. When Novia #2 called Amigo #2 right after we hung up with Novia #1, it was a complete coincidence. Neither knew the other was calling and we later learned that these two gatas hate each other.
So, around 3:30 p. M. Our doorbell rings. Amigo #2 goes downstairs and there are three people there asking him questions in Spanish. He sends me down. It's Novia #1 with a very cute friend -- and some big dude. She explains that her friends have been helping her move to a new apartment and wants to know if her girlfriend can come up, as well. I wasn't sure what to think -- except her girlfriend was young and cute (see pictures) -- so I said "no problema." Then, she explained that the big dude was her friend's brother. He had also helped her move, and her friend's mom would not let her go anywhere with alcohol unless her brother came. She said he was her "security." The big dude spoke no English whatsoever but seemed friendly enough. I thought, perhaps, that Amigo #1 had pre-arranged for his Novia to bring a friend for me -- although the big dude didn't work with that scenario -- so I said "sure." I knew Novia #1 from previous trips, so she had some credibility.
The three of them came in. My other two Amigos were wondering what was going on at that point, and I was kind of looking at Amigo #1 for a similar explanation, but he didn't expect extra company either. We grabbed a bunch of beers and headed up to the sun deck. Within 5 minutes or so, Novia #2 arrived and the party was under way.
Everything immediately got awkward and interesting at the same time. So, we're up on this sundeck, it's 90 degrees and perfectly sunny, and we've got three beautiful chicas in bikinis frolicking about. What could be better? Except it's very weird. There's four dudes. One is supposed to be the third chica's brother / security. He's very deferential -- he doesn't want any beer, but he'll take one if you insist. He'll sit over in the corner and watch, but he'll try to engage a bit. The guy is truly built and could be security or even this chica's brother, but no one has really explained what the deal is. Plus, there's this weird dynamic between Chica #3 and the brother / security she brought. At various points, she's really giving him shit about his girlfriend who she characterizes as gorda and fea, and he's clearly getting pissed. She then starts to call him gay and she's razzing the hell out of the guy. At other times, she tells him to look away and "no dice mama," and she takes off her top and / or bikini bottoms for a bit.
She's sitting on everyone's lap at one point or another (with bikini back on) and insisting that everyone take pictures of her in various poses. The pictures I've attached don't do her justice as they were taken with a cheap iPhone camera, and I haven't even put up the best of them (because I'm in them) The gal is clearly a stunner, but she claims she's a pre-school teacher still living at home with her mom and not in the Profession.
After about two hours of this simultaneous flirtation / haze your brother / security, Novia #1 gets a telephone call. It seems she's forgotten to leave the keys to the apartment she just moved out of. She and security guy are going to drive back to the apartment to drop off the keys. Cool. That leaves us with baby sister and Novia #2. By this time, however, baby sister appears to be getting rather tipsy and it becomes somewhat apparent that she's on some kind of drug.
So, the other two leave and baby sister continues her act. She's flitting about asking everyone to take pictures of her, sitting on my and Amigo #1s laps, and she just can't sit still for more than 20 seconds. Novia #2 is gritting her teeth because she hates the rest of them, so she and Amigo #2 go downstairs and have at it.
Now, the apartment that Novia #1 moved out of is just 5 minutes away near Paraguay and Malabia. It shouldn't take them too long to drop off keys and come back -- especially since they were driving.
Meanwhile, Amigo #1 and I are chatting with Chica #3, salivating a bit but also somewhat perplexed. Amigo #1 has a girl -- and Chica #3 is supposed to be her best friend -- so he's interested but still a little gun shy. I'm intrigued, except so far the party line has been that this girl is not in the business, and her brother / security guy is a bit ominous. He's absent at this point, but they should be back in 5-10 minutes if all they're doing is dropping off keys.
15 minutes pass and they don't return. 30 minutes pass and they don't return. All the while, we're thinking they'll be back any second. Plus, Amigo #1 has given them the keys to our casa, so they can get back in by themselves. I chewed him out for this, but nothing bad ultimately happened and, as I mentioned, he'd been with Novia #1 several times before.
Eventually, I decide that she's too much for me -- young and hot, but clearly on something. She's started to grind her teeth and you can see the faintest of twitches every now and again. I'm out.
Amigo #1 goes down to the kitchen to get more beers. She follows him and, literally, corners him. As he describes it, the teeth grinding has become a bit more pronounced at that point, and she is talking a mile a minute -- mostly in Spanish which he doesn't understand. What he does understand is that she wants someone to bang her. She bends over and pulls down the bikini bottoms and tells him to take her. He thinks his friend and Chica #3's security will be back any second, open the door, shazam, instant chaos. She tells him to take the cola and don't worry about the globo. As he describes it, 'it took every ounce of energy I had to resist, and I still kick myself to this day.'
So, he doesn't bang her. I don't bang her. Another half hour passes and Novia #1 finally calls to say they are lost. Lost? It's 5 minutes away? At this point, Chica #3 changes from teeth-grinding and talkative to somewhat despondent. She's either upset that she didn't get banged, or the drugs are wearing off, or both. At any rate, she's now back up on the sundeck chatting away on her cell phone with friends and drinking champagne. She's gotten dressed again.
I'm still thinking about it but, given my last 24 hours, I'm not going to venture near. I'm just looking for one day of normalcy, and then I can turn back to weird. By this time, Amigo #2 and Novia #2 have re-emerged from the bedroom. Novia #2 is a bit drunk, and she's not a nice drunk. She wants us to kick Chica #3 to the curb, and she's razzing the hell out of Amigo #1 for being so stupid as to give Novia #1 his keys. To be fair, I started this, but this gal took it to a whole new level.
Another hour passes and Novia #1 still hasn't come back with Chica #3's brother / security. Eventually, Novia #2 gets loudmouthed enough that Amigo #2 sends her home. That leaves three dudes and one despondent, somewhat crazy and / or drug addled Chica #3. She's starting to get really sleepy at this point, and she's still somewhat drunk, so we suggest that perhaps it's time to go. At that point, her security / brother finally comes back -- sans Novia #1 -- with the keys. As near as I could tell with my limited Spanish, he apologizes. We tell him his sister is still on the sun roof. He goes up and walks her down, apologizes again, and they leave. She's clearly intoxicated at this point and in need of sleep, although she still did have all her teeth, so the grinding wasn't too bad.
That's a rather uneventful end to a rather weird story that concluded my first 24 hours in BA. We never did figure out what was up with all this. Was Chica #3 a pro? Sure seemed like it, but both she and her friend denied it. Was security dude really her brother? Sure seemed like it, but it was a bit odd that the guy left (and took Novia #1) with him. It was even weirder that they left on a 10-15 minute errand but stayed gone for 2 and a half hours. Had they given us advance notice of this, things would have turned out differently.
Our surmise was that Big Dude was her pimp, although he never let down his guard. He claimed he worked as security at the Italian Embassy guarding diplomats when they were in town. He said some other things that seemed to fit that profile, as well. He certainly was built well enough to be some sort of security. But, then he claimed that he used to be Maradonna's body guard five years back, and that didn't seem to add up. If he was her pimp, I would have expected Novia #1 to tip us off at some point. At a minimum, I would have expected that we would have gotten a price quote out of one of them -- Pimp, Novia #1 or Chica #3 -- or all of them. Never happened.
Another theory was that Big Dude was Novia #1's boyfriend. That would explain why they were gone for 2 and 1/2 hours, but it raises a bunch of other questions (like why bother coming over in the first place)
Perhaps everything was exactly as presented. Big Dude was security / brother to Chica #3. Chica #3 was a hot, young non-pro drug addled nymphomaniac who just has to have it. Her mom knows this, which is why she sent Brother / Big Dude / Security along for the ride. We never did figure it out.
For my part, I've still got Chica #3's e-mail and have traded a few with her. If she'll work without security, who knows what may happen next time? For some crank and a hundred pesos, a guy might be able to have a pretty good time. We'll see.
At any rate, this concludes my first-24-hours-in-BA trilogy. I wish I could say that I, or one of us or all of us banged the stuffing out of the little hottie, but we didn't. Had this been the first event after arriving in BA, it might have been different. But, after getting smacked around by chicas and rousted by the cops the day before, we had lost a bit of our collective edge. Pity, really, but that's why god made return trips.