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View Full Version : Three night romp in Montevideo!



TomJackin
06-28-17, 13:54
Why go to Montevideo? I wanted to return to Buenos Aires (was there 4 years ago) and this time, stay for a couple of weeks. But I wanted to break the trip up a bit by going to Montevideo. Plus the fact that Ive never been to Uruguay; so why not go?

Logistics:

Buquebus:

I decided not to fly, but take a fast ferry across from Buenos Aires to Montevideo and the return in the same fashion. I bought my round trip ticket before I left. Business class was $260, so you could get a cheaper ticket.

The ferry traveled at 39 knots and it took just about 3 hours to cross. The ferry was equipped with food, drinks, and even had a duty free store on board. Passport is required, but customs seemed lacking. Everyone just put their bags through the X-ray machine. I thought it was a nice experience.

Money:

The currency in Montevideo is pesos. I cashed in some US dollars at the terminal; the rate was 26 to 1. Passport was required! When I ran out of pesos, I used the ATMs at the casino near my hotel. The casino had an ATM at each entrance. The ATMs dispersed pesos or US dollars.

Hotel:

I chose the Holiday (Horrible) Inn because of the hotels location. I had a king room for 95 US per night. The hotel was wore and old; kind of like me. I had a couple of meals at the hotel, just out of the sake of convenience; the food sucked.

Communication:

Because I have the T-Mobile North American plan, life was quite easy. My plan gave me unlimited data at 2G speed, calls at 20 cents per minute and free texts. Thus, I started using WhatsApp on my regular phone. I was chatting on WhatsApp, Facebook, and Skype; including video calls for no charge whatsoever.

Transportation:

I used Uber for the most part and taxis now and then, depending on the situation and area where I wanted to travel. I also did a lot of walking, which was fine because the city is pretty flat. Taxis were cheap, but Uber was cheaper and safer. Most of the Uber drivers refused tips.

The problem with the taxis was many of them did not have a fucking clue where they were going. For christs sake, how can you be a taxi driver in a SMALL city and be so damn clueless?

Safety:

I felt completely safe walking around the city. And I was out until 3 or 4 in the morning hunting down clubs and chicas.

Food:

I ate at three restaurants and had a couple of meals at the Horrible Inn; here are my thoughts:

La Pulperia: excellent.
El Palenque in the Mercado del Puerto: very good.
Horrible Inn: pizza and a pasta dish; both tasted bland and sucked.
Primuseum: outstanding!

My Coca-Cola story:

I went to Primuseum around 9 PM and was told that they already started serving from a fixed course menu, but they let me in anyway. I went to check out the fire pit and that is where I met Santiago. He invited me to sit at the bar; he spoke English as well. After he stacked my plate with outstanding food, he chatted to me about the restaurant.

Santiago told me that the restaurant used to be just a place for his father, family, and friends to have great get-togethers. Later it became a great restaurant. I noticed and antique Coca-Cola machine and I shared my story with him. I had my first job when I was at the ripe age of six.

Every day after school, I would go to the corner barber shop and sweep/clean the place for at least an hour. I got paid one bottle of Coca-Cola and it came out of a machine similar to the one that was in Santiagos restaurant. My parents did not have money for Coca-Cola, so I was happy to earn my keep. I worked there for at least two years.

After I finished my story, Santiago handed me a US dime, and told me the machine still worked. Yep, I put the dime in the machine and got me a Coca-Cola, without having to sweep up any hair! The experience at the restaurant was outstanding in all aspects!

Women and Clubs:

World Traveler 69: This dude is a serious monger that creates lists and maps of monger venues in several countries. I decided to help out and update his Montevideo map. I only had three nights so I could only focus on the clubs.

I took World Travelers Montevideo map out and explored:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/viewer?msa=0&ie=UTF&mid=1uN-U4W3isKxLesz0-NvfJHpQHeE&ll=-34.90802234025847%2C-56.19329821833492&z=15

The bad news first, the clubs were closed or were no longer at the address provided or I was too damn stupid to find them:

Moon River Whiskeria.
Imperio Whiskeria.
New Estile.
Club de Paris.
Hot Night Whiskeria.
Moustache.
Lido Balnearia Disco.
Sweet Whiskeria.
The One Whiskeria.
Bahia Whiskeria.
La Cumbre Whiskeria.
Subterraneo Magallanes (Was a male stripper club before).
K-Ricias.
Ronbills.
Malibu.

The clubs I found that were opened and operating!

Club: Princess.
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 280.
Ficha cost: 300.
Sex with one of the girls: 1200 for 30/1800 for 60 on site.
Sex on site: yes and offsite.
Number of Chicas: 8-10.
Quality of Chicas: good to very good.
Time of night: Wednesday @ 12.
Comments: Small club, but clean. Chatted with one girl: sex in house required one drink, offsite 3 drink exit fee.

Club: Baires.
Cover charge: 500 one drink included.
My drink: 380.
Ficha cost: 20 US.
Sex with one of the girls: 100 US for an hour.
Sex on site: no.
Number of Chicas: 15+.
Quality of Chicas: very good.
Time of night: Wednesday @ 1.
Comments: Offsite 3 drink exit fee and 100USD an hour.

Club: Ricas.
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 280.
Ficha cost: 300.
Sex with one of the girls: 1500 an hour.
Sex on site: yes.
Number of Chicas: saw 5 chunky ones.
Quality of Chicas: so-so at best.
Time of night: Wednesday @ 2.
Comments: Offsite 3 drink exit fee and 100UUSD an hour.

Club: Pikaros Whiskeria.
Cover charge: Either 400 or 500 (forgot), includes one drink.
My drink: 280.
Ficha cost: 300.
Sex with one of the girls: Yes, see comments.
Sex on site: no.
Number of Chicas: 15+.
Quality of Chicas: very good.
Time of night: Thursday @ 1:30.
Comments: One chica told me 100 USD an hour is the rate, 200 for chinos, and 500 for Indians. Possible drink minimum exit fee, forgot to ask.

Club: Divas 3 (known as 1313).
Cover charge: none.
My drink: didnt ask.
Ficha cost: didnt ask.
Sex with one of the girls: didnt ask.
Sex on site: yes.
Number of Chicas: I saw 3-4.
Quality of Chicas: OK.
Time of night: Thursday @ 1.
Comments: After walking up all those damn stairs, I tried to go into the small room with the bar and girls. The place was packed with hombres. So packed, I barely could see the bar or the chicas; I bailed!

Club: Acuarela Whiskeria (known as 1626).
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 100.
Ficha cost: 100.
Sex with one of the girls: 1500 for 30/2500 for 60.
Sex on site: yes.
Number of Chicas: 15+.
Quality of Chicas: good selection.
Time of night: Thursday @ 1:20.
Comments: Enter through 1626 entrance, go up the stairs, and ring the bell. When buzzer sounds, push, dont pull, the door and enter. A lot bigger than 1313, but still a lot of hombres. I returned there Friday night for a girl I liked the first night. S/T room was decent and had a bathroom. I liked the place!

Club: Divas 2 (known as 1414).
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 200.
Ficha cost: 200.
Sex with one of the girls: 1500 for 30/2500 for 60.
Sex on site: yes.
Number of Chicas: 12+.
Quality of Chicas: good.
Time of night: Thursday @ 2:15.
Comments: Another small place, but more comfortable than 1313.

Club: Manila House.
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 300.
Ficha cost: 400.
Sex with one of the girls: onsite 80 for 60, offsite 100 for 60 (USD).
Sex on site: yes and offsite.
Number of Chicas: 10+.
Quality of Chicas: ok to good.
Time of night: Friday @ 1.
Comments: More girls than guys and a decent size to boot. I was told all the girls have different prices; I only asked one chica.

Club: Club 666 (x-Corea House).
Cover charge: none.
My drink: 280.
Ficha cost: 300.
Sex with one of the girls: yes, if you can find one!
Sex on site: no.
Number of Chicas: see comments.
Quality of Chicas: see comments.
Time of night: see comments.
Comments: Stumbled (literally) upon this place Wednesday @ 2:30. The doorman/bouncer is from the DR; we connected right away. Inside, the bartender was nice and welcomed my business, maybe because I was the only customer in the place. So in true Tom fashion, I started buying drinks. I guess the bartender called in one of her friends to join the party, and she did.

Returned Thursday night around 3 and the bouncer smiled and said, We have been waiting for you. This time there were two other girls and we partied with for about an hour and a half. Because I was buying the girls and the bartenders drinks, went I looked at my tab, the bartender told me that my drinks were on the house. And each drink, she loaded the glass with vodka; I liked her. It was a fun ending to the night.

The last night, it was just the bartender, bouncer, and I in the club. We chatted and drank. Once again, my drinks were on the house. Even though the place was lacking chicas, the bar still had character.

Street Girls: For the entire three nights, I did not see one street girl. But that does not mean there werent any available; I just didnt see any.

Cupid Girls: Tried for two weeks before I left; nadie!

Tinder: Tried while I was there; nadie!

Conclusion: I enjoyed my stay. I really like to explore the venues and chat with the chicas. But to be honest, the lack of attractive chicas, well, was lacking.

Would I return to Montevideo; nah, I still have other places to explore.

As always, just my two pinche pesos.

Local
07-02-17, 13:14
Thank you very much for an excellent report. A model for all of us to follow.

Esten
07-04-17, 19:38
Excellent report Tom, thanks. I actually logged on for the first time in months to get a better look at your chica photos. I also first skipped to the end of your report to see your conclusion, and was not surprised to see your "nah" on returning.

I never heard great reports on Montevideo, so never put it high on my TDL. The club prices you report seem reasonable, and you do say a few clubs had very good quality. Curious how you would compare the top clubs to similar venues in BA (past or present)... Madahos, Hook, Ness, Newport, etc. If there was even one Madahos level club in Montevideo, that could make me reconsider, but then I would expect you to have made a comment like "the place was loaded with hot chicks" but you didn't so I infer there was no such place.... LOL.

Creideiki
07-08-17, 06:46
I am looking at going to Montivideo soon, and this is great stuff. Thanks for your detailed writeup!

Member #3320
07-08-17, 20:22
Hyat Centric Hotel, Montevideo is where I usually stay. Excellent Hotel.

Montevideo looks like a cold European city in night time. Hardly see a soul anywhere!

Never mongered there.